I wrote this right after I turned 17 and don't remember it but it was on Mis

God loves each and every one of you so much so I decided to write a poem.

There once was a monkey named Hail
Who almost went to jail
Then God saved him
and the monkey turned into a Christian
and a bum
but he went to jail anyways.

But God does love you, I am so serious.
I wish that people would get that through their heads that He loves you and your being complacent with the world isn't going to
But God does love you, I am so serious.
I wish that people would get that through their heads that He loves you and your being complacent with the world isn't going to help you get to heaven, GOD WILL.
CAN I GET A WITNESS!?
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH


...WHAT IN THE WORLD!? bahahahhaha

What a drag it must be to be a broken clasp! How sad it must be to have everything rely on you to hold it together and then to become disconnected and useless! Then again, it must be nice to be real...after holding together a string of hollow, empty beads...or to feel like you're worth something compared to the silver, gold and diamonds that you were once attached to...but it also must be relieved after being sent to the repair shop and made brand new.

Moral of the Story: You have a purpose...it's okay to feel disconnected sometimes, especially if you're dealing with people who are pretty outside but empty inside and putting on a facade. Even though you may feel worthless compared to others (even though nobody is worthless), you still have a purpose whether it is holding things together...or something else. It's okay to be broken and be real with God, sometimes we need to go through a refining process to be made brand new.

This is a difficult subject for me to write about because it's hard to be open in such a public venue about this kind of stuff but God likes to take people out of their comfort zones.

There's something about love that draws people in; maybe it's the feeling that they get when they can't stop thinking about that person, imagining the things that they could become and trying not to physically melt whenever they're around that person. I don't know much about how guys' minds work, but I know that girls do because it's the way our minds are programmed. However, when we get caught up in all of this stuff we forget what love really is: love is a reflection of who God is.
It's clear in scripture that God is the ultimate example of love, God IS love. (1 John 4:8) He loves us unconditionally, He is selfless and He will do anything for us, but He knows what's best and isn't afraid to say no when He knows something will harm us.

Also two things that I always remember when I get frustrated about this subject, which happens a lot:
1.Song of Solomon 2:7:
7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.

Although this verse refers to staying pure until marriage, it reminds me to be patient.

2. "Do not get in any sort of relationship unless you know you can do more for God together than you can by yourself."-a guy who spoke in chapel a couple of years ago and it stuck with me.

Maybe that wasn't as hard as I thought it would be...

I miss you..

I don't recognize you, who are you? You look vaguely familiar, I think that I used to have a best friend that looks exactly like you. Her voice sounds exactly like yours too. Heck, you guys even have the same first and last name. It can't be you, can it? Her eyes were so full of laughter and light whenever she smiled, but your eyes look so empty and worn out from life. She had such confidence in what God had for her and swore that she would follow Him all of her days, let Him guide her path and trust in Him to provide for her. You swear that you don't need God and you can do it on your own but I watch you struggle to provide. She was in love with this guy, she swore he was the one that God had for her...she got tired of waiting, so she settled and now has a beautiful baby daughter...wait, it is you! I miss you so much, I wish you would have listened to me that God would help you back up when you fell before you were so interested in what the world had to offer, which is nothing so it left you empty...now you're trapped. He still loves you so much, no matter what you've done. I wish that I could help you grasp this concept but I still need to. I wish that you would still talk to me, I was only honest with you because I love you. I was in no way trying to pass judgment on you, but I didn't want to see you get hurt...I did anyways...if I could leave you with one piece of advice and you would listen to me, I'd tell you to take God's hand, hold it tight and never let go. He will guide your path straight. He loves you so much and so do I, still.

Normal is nothing but a boring and overrated town in Illinois

Rest in Peace, Your Individuality
It died the day you moved into the
neighborhood of sameness.
No color, only grey.
Nobody, nothing
stands out.
Everything, Everyone
Identical
The guards of the city gates
do not allow creativity to filter in.
A sign posted in city hall reads:
Creativity is banished from Normal
Five hundred dollar fine for anyone who sneaks it within the city walls

I remember the days before
Your individuality died
You would sing offkey showtunes loudly
and instead of walking like everyone else did,
you would run and spin and skip and jump
like an innocent child just having fun,
not caring who is near or what they might think.
Now, you walk in a careful rollstep
left foot first, then right
eternally fearing that you might make a wrong move in your mind,
that someone will find out.

I remember the days when your friends became annoyed
that you decided "Antidisestablishmentarianism"
was an underused word,
that it probably felt left out
so you would try to incorporate
it into as many sentences as you
could, ignoring the actual definition.
All of the time syou smiled to yourself
when your friends rolled their eyes
after you told them they smelled
like antidisestablishmentarianism.
I remember the laughter in your eyes
when they finally told you to stop,
but you ignored them and continued
in a more subtle way.
Now, you only speak with ambiguity:
words like whatever, stuff, and cool.
You always avoid adjectives,
careful not to sound smarter or more
creative than the next citizen
of sameness.

No longer an original, you have become a copy of a copy of a copy.
First, you became a little blurry
then slightly off center
twisted and turning
halfway off the page
eventually, your individuality faded away to nothing
Oh how I mourn who you once were
when you were yourself
and not everybody else

Transition

The autumn leaves:
Young love,
Solid for the seasons
Broken, Separated
Changing
The wind blowing
Forces the leaves
To separate
trampled on by passersby:
Forgotten

(This is still a work in progress)

Rejection.

Today, I realized how Jesus feels sometimes when He is ignored. He speaks and speaks to us, keeps on encouraging us to go on but many times, we argue with Him because we don't get our way or things aren't going as planned. Many are ungrateful...or selfish..but it is ultimately Him who feels the sting of rejection

The Poet Who Never Smiles

I wrote this while watching Indiana Jones today...inspired by finishing a group project early and flipping through our poetry book and noticing that the poets are never smiling.

There is no explanation
as to why
the poet will never smile

Many words a picture speaks
many words a poet speaks
in their expressionless image

Are they trying to appear--
serious?
passionate?
deep?

They might think nothing of
their lack of expression, but
could their distant look mean their big dreams?

But dear poet, you look so sad
Well-worn by the years
like those big dreams
are a distant memory

Tell me dear poet, why won't you smile?

my eyes
should be fixed
on You
but they're searching
searching
for something
something else
anything else
to satisfy
but You
are the only
one who satisfies

Cheesy Poetry

(Thanks for helping me come up with the plot, Jake haha...and this is an assignment)

Each day when you walk by me,
I long for you to look my
way; telling me that the mail
is for me. I can't help
but love the way
that you smile
and how precisely
you stack the folders
I love you.
Oh, how I long for us
to talk longer
about something
other than mail
I long for us to
walk hand in hand
around the office
pushing your mail cart-
-together

The Secret

What is it about keeping something to yourself that makes it feel like a boa constrictor has completely wrapped itself around your tongue? It feels like the pain from that consumes your entire being from the inside out. It's not necessarily a bad thing either, the pain from keeping it inside consumes my entire being. I just don't want people to know because in my head, everything will change. Maybe people will think I'm doing things for the wrong reasons. maybe they won't. I never would have ulterior motives, of course. I just care way too much, but can I really help it? I don't think I can...