Tears are Healing

I am finally back in Minneapolis and I'm not going to lie, it's been a rather difficult summer for me emotionally. I had a lot of people talk to me about really difficult things that they're worried about or going through which I don't mind but it makes me worry about them or what's going to become of some things. I spent three days crying last week because what was an attempt to apologize so I could get rid of bitterness toward a person who I am close to turned into a personal attack. I have felt forgotten, not cared about and ignored by people who I used to be so close to and even ones that I am around all the time. I have been cut down and verbally abused by family members.

Although it seems like I am complaining (which I kind of am), complaining is not my main purpose of this blog. Toward the beginning of the summer, a guy came and guest spoke at a service for a ministry that I am involved in and at the end of the service, he was praying for people that needed healing and deliverance in the center of the room. I didn't feel like I was supposed to get up and have him pray for me so I remained in my seat. He came up to me eventually and prayed that God will heal the scars. Right then, tears started flowing down my face. I didn't realize that I had hidden scars. I had to learn a lot of stuff...confidence (which I am still working on), confrontation, forgiveness...etc. Needless to say, I spent a lot of my summer in tears and it was extremely hard for me. I hate to cry. I hate people to know that I'm not always emotionally strong. I hate to have to tell people that they have really hurt me. I hate to be open with people about how I'm feeling because I feel like they aren't listening to me. I've always tried to cover up my hurt with humor and sarcasm instead. (and it's still there, just in a different form.) And for the last two days, I cannot stop laughing...I feel so much more at peace than I have all summer and so much happier. I am not freaking out every two seconds about what someone else thinks of me. God has began to heal my scars through my tears and for the first time in my life, I finally feel like I'm free.

Fundraising

I am a volunteer at a local crisis pregnancy center at home in MI and every year, we do a fundraiser called "Walk for Life". This year I am going to walk 2 miles in Minneapolis in order to raise money for this organization. Please prayerfully consider sponsoring me and if you feel led to, go to this website. Even if you cannot financially support this organization, please support us in prayer. Thank you for your time!

Qualities of a Good Leader

 After a situation in a ministry that I know of took place where a guy was put in leadership and began criticizing everything, I began to seriously reflect on the qualities of what a good leader is. I remembered doing a little exercise in my Social Psychology class last semester where we were put in groups and told to come up with some qualities of what a good leader is.



These are some that we came up with/some of my own/out of a discussion with a friend:
1. A good leader is teachable. This means he/she realizes that they do not know everything and will take into consideration the ideas or wisdom of those that are not necessarily in leadership and their co-leaders.
2. A good leader gives CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Anybody can criticize. It takes a leader to offer solutions.
3. A good leader is a good listener. God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason.
4. A good leader allows room for God to move. We cannot lead the hand of God but we need to allow  God to lead us.
5. A good leader is encouraging. Leaders see strengths in others and point them out. Also if they see something that needs improvement, they're not afraid to talk to the individual and offer solutions to help them.
6. A good leader is humble. Nobody likes arrogance.
7. A good leader is a good problem solver. or they are not afraid to consider other peoples' solutions.






Any other qualities that I missed?

Attention to my followers who enjoy ridiculous stuff...

About 3 weeks ago, my friend Jake and I decided that we were going to start a blog full of ridiculous stories making fun of things such as The National Enquirer...so if you're interested in reading our ridiculous blog, please feel free to follow it at http://allthingsofthegreatwhitefiction.blogspot.com/...you won't regret it. Maybe you will.

Blog Awards

I noticed a few days ago that I had a blog award but didn't get a chance to actually look at it until today. Thank you, S. Morgan Ministries for blessing me. I thought it would be fun to do this too because I love promoting peoples' stuff.

The award is given to up-and-coming bloggers with fewer than 200 followers, and the rules are as below:
1. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
2. Reveal your top 3-5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
3. Copy and paste the award on your blog.
4. Have faith that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.
5. And most of all - have fun!

HERE ARE MY TOP PICKS:

1. S. Morgan Ministries
2.  Topaz and Bronze
3.  My head is where I come up with these things
4. [Insert cool hip contemporary relevant postmodern emerging emergent title here]
5. (This one isn't on blogspot but I still really enjoy reading it.) Put Down Your Rock

Things that you learn as an out-of-state college student: who your real friends are.

First off, I might want to add that this is not to bash anyone but to share my experience and what God has taught me through this.

I live in a small-ish town of 30,000 people in the thumb of Michigan called Port Huron and go to school in downtown Minneapolis which is about 12-13 hours from where I live. I have spent a good majority of my life in Port Huron minus venturing off to Texas for about 6 months and going to school. I normally go to a church here (that I have been going to since I was a freshman in high school practically) but God called me to a college ministry instead this summer. (The college ministry and the church meet on the same night.) I have done my best to keep in contact with people from both the church and the college ministry while I was at school...yes, a lot of people didn't actually respond to my attempts to keep in contact but a lot did...for some reason, as soon as I got back to Michigan, a lot of people from the church basically decided that they were going to ignore my existence (at least it felt like they were). I understand that people are busy but it doesn't hurt to do silly things like respond to text messages. Very quickly, I began to feel really alone and that nobody really cared. (thank you to the ones who did talk to me) It really stinks to be ignored. I happened to tell the girls in my college ministry about how I felt and the other girl who goes to school in another state just happened to be feeling the same way. Lesson 1: God will never let you go through anything alone. There is always someone that is going through or has gone through what you are that God will use to help you through it.


I did happen to go to that church last Sunday with my very good friend who attends school in North Carolina. I was sort of....joking around about how everyone was so excited to see her but not me. One of the girls told me, "Well, you're in the Port Huron area...you should be here."...fair enough, I guess. I'm not sure how this came up but I mentioned something about her never talking to me and she told me, "That's because you're never here." Even though I know her and know that was an innocent comment, that really hurt me. Just because someone isn't where you can see them, it doesn't mean that they don't exist. Sometimes people are called somewhere else for a season. I was talking to my friend about how that comment really hurt me and she made a good point, "Even if you're not there, contact should not be one-sided. We're supposed to be a family."... Lesson 2: We should all be very accepting of where God calls others and support them and encourage them, not ignore them because they're not where you are at that particular moment. I have had a hard time with doing this in the past but when it's you, there is a whole new perspective  and a respect that is acquired for people in your position. It isn't easy but being where God wants you to be is worth it.


Finally, thank you to my real friends. You know who you are. Thank you to my true friends in the past but we went our separate ways. Thank you to the people who have touched my life in some way. Thank you for letting God use you in my life.

Any other college students or people who got called elsewhere have stories about this?