I went on a beach mission but all I ended up doing was mission you.

Three adjectives to sum up my inner self would consist of compassionate, sensitive and apprehensive. Apprehensive in the sense that I am perceptive and discerning, not paranoid. I promise there is a reason for all of this talking about myself, something that God taught me. Promise.

I have recently realized that not everybody appreciates these qualities. I know that I can be over sensitive sometimes but I'm a girl. It happens.

Last Friday, I had a conversation with two guys that I had just met after I felt like we really shouldn't go down a certain street when we were witnessing to people. He told me that he looked down that street and girls were really immodest so he's glad we didn't. This led to a conversation about how guys are visual. I always knew this but now I have been making it a point to understand what this means a little bit better. I know I will never understand this fully because I am not a guy and never will be. (Note: If you're trying to understand the opposite sex completely, you're wasting your time. You'll probably never even understand your own.)


So then a girl who I used to be close to and is a Christian posted a status that was extremely inappropriate going along with this subject. One of our friends who is a guy commented on it, "That's great and all but is that really appropriate to announce?" That comment was deleted so I commented "I love you to death but this is really inappropriate. Some of our brothers genuinely struggle with lust and we're not supposed to be a stumbling block to them." Of course, she deleted that comment too. Whatever. Then I got a text from her that says, "Please never contact me again since you have nothing positive to say to me."...that's the only negative thing I've ever said to her but I was honestly shocked. Not upset about it but shocked that someone could be so immature especially someone 5 years older than me.

I really wanted to talk to someone about it but had nobody to talk to. I was sitting with the girls on my floor at lunch but everyone else was having another conversation and probably would just start laughing if I brought it up anyways like they normally do when I try to say anything so I just left and went back to my room, laid down on my bed and cried for a while then just went to sleep. I texted my friend from Michigan and told her about it but she didn't text me back until the next day so I just kind of felt alone. I really wanted to go home and be with my friends so I had someone to talk to and feel welcome/accepted again. I got to the point where I never wanted to come back here again. I'd find somewhere else to go. (I still do really miss my friends/family from MI. One more month =D)


God then brought me back to some of the other times I felt alone, most of these were within the groups of people that I hang out with the most. At this point, I realized that this was an attack and even if I felt alone among people, with God I am never alone. Satan wants us to feel alone because one of the essentials in the body of Christ is unity and if we're not unified, it's hard for us to do anything to further the kingdom of God. Remember that God is with you next time you feel alone. Remember that people do love you and do care about you. God especially.