God, break me. I am tired of being at a stand still in my relationship with You. I want to be put back together according to Your purpose and molded in Your image. I no longer want to feel inadequate or insecure, I want to find my identity completely in You. I no longer want to be hurt or bitter toward others. I want to be an encouragement to them and Your instrument. I want to love people the way that You do. Help me to become humble and break me so that I can be everything that You created me to be.

Putting two and two together.

I glanced at the clock on the bottom right of my computer and as I expected, it read "2:22"...since last semester, the number 2 has been coming up without fail...I met someone whose birthday is February 22 (which is 2/22)...I ALWAYS look at the clock at 2:22, no matter what...there have been a few phone numbers with the last 4 numbers having some variation of the number 2...addresses...my word count on Microsoft Word...I hope you get my point by now.

So I've been trying to figure out/praying about what this means for quite a while...as I am walking down my dorm hallway today, it hit me. There have been two common themes throughout this semester at the different churches I have gone to or different speakers I have heard: doing life together and the Holy Spirit.

 "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”-Matthew  18:20

Having relationships with the body of Christ is important...how could an arm work without an elbow? Or a hand without any fingers? How can you see in the spirit without eyes? A huge theme of the Christian walk is "Love your neighbor as yourself." It's not very loving to fake having it all together, is it? I have recently been a lot more comfortable opening up to people but I remember countless tears and lonely sleepless nights because I felt like I had to stay strong for everyone else or fear that people might think that I'm not doing well in my relationship with God. I learned the hard way that Christianity is a very relationship focused faith and I can't do it on my own. It's important to have that accountability and encouragement in your life to push you to be the absolute best you can be and to live up to your fullest potential. It's important to do life together.

There is also the famous chapter (at least in Pentecostalism) of Acts 2 (there's that number again) where the Holy Spirit comes down on the day of Pentecost. I think back to a couple of Tuesdays ago when we talked about spiritual gifts at our floor devotion and the Holy Spirit moved...there was so much unity and encouragement on my floor that night. Where two are more are gathered, there He is. God does great things when we pray together, when we play together, when we encourage one another...when we laugh together....when we cry together...when we're together in general.

I thought I should also include that alone time with God is also important.

I am not a statistic in God's eyes.

I don't really keep it a secret from anyone who asks or makes a comment about how they "feel bad" for people who have divorced parents/never knew their fathers or only have one parent...or they make a comment about my circumstances... that I have never met my biological father. Not that I can recall at least...today during class, we were talking about a case study (as I'm a Social Work major, we do that often.) and a girl asked if the kid in this particular case study had a relationship with his father. I'm not sure why it offended me today as it was a legitimate/innocent question. Obviously not directed toward me. I just started thinking about how I am tired of being a statistic.I hate being felt bad for. I hate that the church thinks that it's their place to feel bad for me rather than accepting me for who I am, family situation...scars...brokenness and all. (There IS a difference between feeling bad and being compassionate.) God loves me for who I am and what I've been through, why can't the church? 

I went to chapel right after this particular class...ironically enough, the speaker today said that God put on his heart the fatherless...or those who don't have good relationships with their fathers. He used a lot of examples from his own experience being a father and compared it to God as our Heavenly Father. It was an extremely powerful message. Ignoring the leading of the Holy Spirit after the "altar call", I left chapel as soon as we were dismissed with every intention of going on with my day like normal. I honestly just didn't really want anyone to see me break down and cry.. I went to lunch and sat with friends....but my spirit felt really heavy. I tried to ignore it. I certainly didn't want to talk to anyone about it. I really didn't want someone else to feel bad for me. I really felt like I needed to write...but as soon as I got back upstairs, I went into the prayer room and fell on my face...I didn't even know what to pray, I just cried...I felt God holding me and comforting but still all I could do was cry. For the first time...or second time...or third time...maybe more than that, I also knew God as my Father. I thought I was healed from a lot of this emotional pain I felt from feeling lost and out of place and insecure as a result of not having a relationship with my biological father...maybe I am but healing is a process. God's not finished with me yet. I thank God for bringing me such a long way already and I look forward to what else He will do in my life regarding this.

Do me a favor if you're a Christian...don't feel bad for people, love them unconditionally and be there for them if they need you. Help them to the extent that you're able. God will reward you..and you will make a different kind of impact in their life rather than that of resentment.

So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss...

Every time I hear someone sing the song "How He Loves" replacing the phrase "sloppy wet kiss", I get a little bit frustrated...a little bit is an understatement. The song is a result of a grieving process...I hate that people don't acknowledge that fact. Changing the words is ruining someone else's artwork...I like to compare it to drawing a mustache with a sharpie on the Mona Lisa because someone liked the way that it looked better or was offended that it was a painting of a woman. God's love isn't always pretty, but He is ALWAYS good. sometimes it seems like a sloppy wet kiss...oh but it's "offensive"...the gospel is offensive...how can someone love us so much that they would die for us? It doesn't make any sense....but He is ALWAYS good. We shouldn't be changing the words to the gospel either. And I'm pretty sure John Mark McMillan himself isn't nearly as annoyed by this as I am....haha

What happened to our Christ-like compassion?

So the other day, my roommate and I got in a very deep discussion with one of the girls on our floor. I love this girl with my entire heart and I am not here to gossip or slander her in any way but some of the things that she said made me thing. I really don't think that she meant to say a lot of the things that she did..but the conversation left me with this one question: What happened to our Christ-like compassion!?

God loves gay people. That's right, I said it. Ouch...He LOVES them just as much as He loves any one of us. Now I'm not condoning, church? Wake up. Stop treating them like they're the scum of the earth. We don't treat straight people who have sex outside of marriage like that. Isn't it basically the same thing? Doesn't the Bible say it's up to God to judge? I wonder how many times that people got turned away from the church because of the way that Christians treated them because they weren't perfect. I would hate to know the real numbers...hate the sin, love the sinner.

"We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.
 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.  Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins."- Romans 3:22-24


This passage includes EVERYONE, not just the radical on-fire or religious Christians. Love everyone unconditionally, no matter their marital status...their orientation...whether they're poor or they're rich...whether they're a Christian or a Muslim or an Atheist...God loves us all and we are called to love the way that He does.

Tumblr

Hey, guys! I will still be using blogspot but if you're interested, follow me on tumblr at http://emily-adele.tumblr.com. I will probably just be writing about really random stuff but some of it will be deep and/or entertaining.  I will probably write another blog on here later in the week.

To my brothers in Christ...

My roommate and I were talking today about how we as Christian women can really stink at encouraging and respecting our brothers in Christ the way that we should. I would like to sincerely apologize for not always being the encouragement to you guys that God has called me to be. I found this "note" on Facebook that I wrote in November 2009 (I edited it a little.) and I still find it to be very true.:

We hear all the time that "real men do ----" and "real men don't----". The world's definitions do not constitute what a real man is. It doesn't matter what you wear or whether or not you straighten your hair, how talented you are, how tough are doesn't really matter in the long run. The size of your heart matters. Your intentions matter.The way you treat other people matters. A real man lives his life to the fullest and is who God created him to be.

Thank you to all of my brothers in Christ who have challenged me, encouraged me to grow, had deep conversations with me that encouraged me to go further, dig deeper into why I believe what I believe, to look at other's views, that I photoshopped into other people's bodies for my own entertainment haha, that make me laugh, that I can spend hours talking about absolutely nothing with, etc. I probably wouldn't be who I am today if God hadn't sent my brothers in Christ to me exactly when I needed them.

Thank you guys!  appreciate you. You're awesome, bro!