I am not a statistic in God's eyes.

I don't really keep it a secret from anyone who asks or makes a comment about how they "feel bad" for people who have divorced parents/never knew their fathers or only have one parent...or they make a comment about my circumstances... that I have never met my biological father. Not that I can recall at least...today during class, we were talking about a case study (as I'm a Social Work major, we do that often.) and a girl asked if the kid in this particular case study had a relationship with his father. I'm not sure why it offended me today as it was a legitimate/innocent question. Obviously not directed toward me. I just started thinking about how I am tired of being a statistic.I hate being felt bad for. I hate that the church thinks that it's their place to feel bad for me rather than accepting me for who I am, family situation...scars...brokenness and all. (There IS a difference between feeling bad and being compassionate.) God loves me for who I am and what I've been through, why can't the church? 

I went to chapel right after this particular class...ironically enough, the speaker today said that God put on his heart the fatherless...or those who don't have good relationships with their fathers. He used a lot of examples from his own experience being a father and compared it to God as our Heavenly Father. It was an extremely powerful message. Ignoring the leading of the Holy Spirit after the "altar call", I left chapel as soon as we were dismissed with every intention of going on with my day like normal. I honestly just didn't really want anyone to see me break down and cry.. I went to lunch and sat with friends....but my spirit felt really heavy. I tried to ignore it. I certainly didn't want to talk to anyone about it. I really didn't want someone else to feel bad for me. I really felt like I needed to write...but as soon as I got back upstairs, I went into the prayer room and fell on my face...I didn't even know what to pray, I just cried...I felt God holding me and comforting but still all I could do was cry. For the first time...or second time...or third time...maybe more than that, I also knew God as my Father. I thought I was healed from a lot of this emotional pain I felt from feeling lost and out of place and insecure as a result of not having a relationship with my biological father...maybe I am but healing is a process. God's not finished with me yet. I thank God for bringing me such a long way already and I look forward to what else He will do in my life regarding this.

Do me a favor if you're a Christian...don't feel bad for people, love them unconditionally and be there for them if they need you. Help them to the extent that you're able. God will reward you..and you will make a different kind of impact in their life rather than that of resentment.